We’ve all encountered control freaks in our lives. Control freaks come in many flavors and varieties. You’ve seen your standard every day control freak: the co-worker who lords control over who gets to use the copy machine first. Or the friend who demands to go to the their favorite restaurant, no matter what you say. Aggravating? Yes. Annoying? Yes. Life threatening? No. My ex was not your typical control freak. There are control freaks and then there are control freaks on steroids. My ex was of the steroidal variety. Controlling me emotionally wasn’t enough – no, he needed full complete control at every level – emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, financially.
I was diagnosed with “walking” pneumonia in the middle of Winter several years ago. I was instructed by my Doctor to remain in bed, drink fluids and above all, rest. Sounded easy enough. Apparently my nagging, unrelenting cough annoyed my Ex, so I was ordered to sleep downstairs on the couch so my “annoying cough” wouldn’t disturb his sleep pattern. Before I went to bed, he offered me some coffee to “calm down that god-awful, horrible cough”. Wow. Maybe he isn’t so bad after all.
Six hours later.
I woke up with my pajamas saturated in my cold sweat. I was disoriented and confused. My first thought was that the fever I had just “broke”. No chance. As I sat on my velvet couch, I looked out the window and saw cars driving by on my street. Except I thought that these were UFO’s that just landed and were exploring the earth. In an attempt to make sense out of the situation, I grabbed one of my magazines from the coffee table and attempted to read it. I couldn’t even comprehend it. It might as well have been written in Arabic. After about 2 hours of more confusion, I finally figured a way to call my friend. My 5:00 AM phone call went something like this: I explained to her what I was experiencing. Perhaps she could shed some light onto what was happening to me. She said that it sounded like I was drugged. I had all of the symptoms: confusion, excessive sweating, hallucinations, anxiety, dysphoria.
Hold on a second. My ex had ordered some psychotropic herbal drugs online. Salvia Divinorum. I remember him experimenting with these a few months earlier when he wanted to “explore his consciousness” and play at being a Shaman. Salvia Divinorum is a plant that is used for it’s psychoactive effects. Traditionally, it is used as a sacred medicine by indigenous Shamanic Healers who lived in the Sierra Madre region of Mexico. Given the right dose, setting and individual, it can be used safely. But slipping it into someone’s coffee is not a safe way to go about it.
Hmm, maybe now I became one of his test subjects. I mean victims.
For most people, this would have sent them running out the door. But I was still in a world of denial and had been beaten down mentally, emotionally and physically by him. I didn’t have the tools to escape this abusive relationship. It was the beginning of many awakenings.
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Tags: abusive relationships, bullies, coffee, control freak, drugs, emotional abuse, hallucinogen, laced drinks, manipulation, manipulator, mental abuse, mind altering substance, psychotropic, psychotropic drug, salvia divinorum, tea
